my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize