i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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