her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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