i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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