I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
