wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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