I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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