I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize