Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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