Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
