I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
