Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize