At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize