I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize