the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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