I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
