Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
