u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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