guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize