Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
