He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
