i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
only you would photoshop your dick
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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