I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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