everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
