Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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