Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize