the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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