I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
