Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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