So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
