Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The best revenge is premature balding
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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