So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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