I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
