if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize