Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
