it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
