We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
