My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
