If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
