Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
