Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
