So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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