I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i think im in europe. pls send help
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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