winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
