I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize