Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
