She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
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