I accidentally burped into my bong.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
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