i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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