He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
