Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?