I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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