She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
