I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
