What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
