it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
