I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it's like iHOP with fire
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
